without constant reassurance it will die. sexually attracted to fire
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| the screamapillar sanctuary without constant reassurance it will die. sexually attracted to fire |
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If you're looking for the band, click to go to Screamapillar Rocks and now-- on with the show! Sunday, July 09, 2006 playing on a loop: keane, imogen heap, dredg, and death cab watching: what not to wear lots of stuff has happened in the past year and a half. but we won't focus on that! lately, i've been stressing over getting into nursing school (and having to get all my registration information together), stressing over being single, stressing over money, and working at barnes and noble. i've tried to pick up knitting, but i've decided to ditch knitting for a while to do some pleasure reading before i have to do study reading this fall. when i read something good, i'll let you know. ^_^ posted by tha muce -|- 7/09/2006 01:29:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, December 20, 2004 watched: lemony snickets's a series of unfortunate events aleve is very very very bad for you i just heard on the news that aleve, an anti-inflammatory that is available over the counter, is horribly horribly bad for you. apparently is increases the risk of heart attack by 50%. that's huge. i want to read more about it. it's hard to believe that people hadn't figured this out until now... then again, i think i heard that it was being tested for its usefulness in treating alzheimers when they stumbled upon the fact that increases heart attacks and such. from one of my classes, i remember that it's pretty hard to establish a positive correllation between things like that, so there must be some truth to it. unless of course, someone made a huge calculating mistake, like when they though spinach was some kind of super food, but really someone misplaced a decimal point. anyways, on the safe side, make sure you take your aleve correctly. i hear the normal dosage is 220mg twice a day. don't exceed this people! posted by tha muce -|- 12/20/2004 10:34:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Friday, December 17, 2004 songs playing on a loop: howie day- sorry so sorry, bunnies hedwig and the angry inch soundtrack - mostly "origin of love", "wig in a box", "wicked little town" and a couple of the tommy songs that i dont remember the names of mor·bid (m?bd) adj. 1. Of, relating to, or caused by disease; pathological or diseased. 2. Psychologically unhealthy or unwholesome: “He suffered much from a morbid acuteness of the senses” (Edgar Allan Poe). 3. Characterized by preoccupation with unwholesome thoughts or feelings: read the account of the murder with a morbid interest. 4. Gruesome; grisly. kiss of death so it's totally been a long time. anyways. i reading some journal articles about shrimp allergies and apparently, for about 80% of people with shrimp allergies, it's due to a protein, tropomyosin... i think i need to read up on this more, because i think all animals with muscles contain tropomysin. perhaps there is something weird about shellfish proteins in particular that triggers the allergies. anyways, i thought this would make for a few very interesting experiments-- for example, a friend has mentioned that another friend develped a rash from the water at the bottom of a bowl of shrimp cocktail. another mentioned that the smell/steam of cooking shrimp can cause an allergic reaction. yet another suggested that it would be interesting to see what would happen if an allergic person put his face in a bowl of cold shrimp. and then i found this article: The kiss of death: a severe allergic reaction to a shellfish induced by a good-night kiss. if you're lazy and don't want to click the link, it's a journal abstract about how some girl has a shrimp allergy. her boyfriend had eaten some shrimp and then kissed her and she had an allergic episode and couldn't breathe and went to the emergency room and all that good stuff. point of the article is that she had a reaction even though she didn't touch the shrimp first hand! CRAZY. so. i would like to conduct my own experiment. i dont have the shrimp allergy, but i would be willing to eat some shrimp and kiss someone that does. any volunteers? you will be handsomely rewarded. can we say "morbid curiosity" posted by tha muce -|- 12/17/2004 03:49:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, June 17, 2004 fun japanese musical artists: the backhorn, asian kung-fu generation, bonnie pink song in my head: rick springfield - jessie's girl the return (for at least a little while i hope) of me so. i'm back again. and a month later! story once upon a time there was this lady that smoked cigarrettes. Let's say her name is, oh... Shelly. she smoked a lot. and she met this girl. The girl's name was... how about Lucretia. So lucretia had always heard that cigarrettes made you look old, but she never knew exactly how old they could make you look until she met Shelly. Shelly was probably in her sixties, but she looked like she could pass for 80-if she really wanted to. Her hair was platinum blonde, but obviously so, and it contrasted sharply with her skin. Her skin was overly tan with myriad tiny wrinkles. Her facial skin also seemed to have lost its elasticity so that it hung slightly from her face and made her face look like the side of an elephant-- with makeup. the rest of her skin fared no better, as it hung rather loosely and had the same withered appearance. however, the skin on her body seemed to move as a unit, like a large sheet of thin paper. what's worse, the skin of her cleavage looked like the desert soil in arizona-- dry, with cracks. when she moved, so did the crack, and the rest of her skin re-formed around the crack. or so i've heard. ugh, i'm never ever smoking. ever. posted by tha muce -|- 6/17/2004 11:01:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, May 17, 2004 what the fuck! okay, so i haven't been here in a while. but what the hell, i go away for a month, and what did you do??? i mean, things used to be so simple-- post and publish WHAM BAM and you're done.... and now, i mean... now, you have your own comments... your own profile... i mean, i used to do that stuff for you! i used to find you your comments. give you a special place for my profile. and now, apparently, you don't need to me do that anymore. i mean, first it was not having to insert line breaks, and now this?? you know i couldnt adjust to that change before. what makes you think now is any different??? OH OH OH, and now i see that you've got a whole new set of templates. what, is my formatting not good enough for you?? HUH?!?! ANSWER ME!!! well. i see how it is. heh. you think you know someone, and then you go away, and when you come back...... i thought i knew you. i guess i was wrong. posted by tha muce -|- 5/17/2004 11:08:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, April 13, 2004 just wanted to post this: interview with Satya Bellord, Uma Thurman's martial arts double in Kill Bill movies. it comes from the Ninjai website. also has cool pictures! posted by tha muce -|- 4/13/2004 11:44:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! puzzle your brains out Four persons need to cross a rope bridge at night. The bridge is not very strong and some of the rungs are missing. Therefore at most the bridge can carry the weight of two persons crossing at a time and they would have to carry a flashlight so as not to miss a step. It would take each of the four persons different times to cross the bridge (one way): 5, 10, 20 and 25 minutes resepctively. When two persons are crossing together the slowest person dictates the pace. The group has only one flashlight and the batteries in the flashlight will only last 60 minutes. How will all 4 persons safely cross the bridge? There are 3 black hats and 2 white hats in a box. Three men (we will call them A, B, & C) each reach into the box and place one of the hats on his own head. They cannot see what color hat they have chosen. The men are situated in a way that A can see the hats on B & C's heads, B can only see the hat on C's head and C cannot see any hats. When A is asked if he knows the color of the hat he is wearing, he says no. When B is asked if he knows the color of the hat he is wearing he says no. When C is asked if he knows the color of the hat he is wearing he says yes and he is correct. What color hat and how can this be? In the basement there are 3 light switches in the "off position". Each switch controls 1 of 3 light bulbs on the floor above. You may move any of the switches but you may only go up stairs one time. How can you determine which switch controls each light bulb? posted by tha muce -|- 4/13/2004 07:35:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Sunday, April 11, 2004 humming the chorus of: Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue Modest Mouse - Float On The Killers - Somebody Told Me swingin' and martial arts one of the first things i ask a white belt when they join our martial arts club is if they've done any other martial arts. usually it makes a difference-- they might already know how to kick, or know martial arts principles. plus, i would hate to make an ass of myself by trying to teach a black belt in taekwondo how to kick. anyways, we usually also ask if they have done other sports in high school, or if they do gymnastics, or DANCE. i guess i didn't really understand the dance part until i went to a swing dancing class this past thursday. the same problems i'm having in dancing class as i am in martial arts class! my balance has been off, and the dance teacher kept saying i needed to keep my center of gravity over my feet so i didn't tip over. i was also having a problem being too tense. i get told all the time in martial arts class that i need to relax. i guess dancing is no different. when we were doing turns i kept pushing up on my partner's hand. ideally i would have just left my hand there and spun, but i didn't, and putting tension on my partner's hand made it harder to spin efficiently. i also ended up leading myself a few times, which was BAD BAD BAD because if i try that in a real situation, i'll probably end up doing the wrong steps and falling all over myself. but anyways, i need to get the rhythms down so i dont have to think about doing a move, and then i can follow correctly. man, it can be hard to be the follower! what a revelation! so on thursday we reviewed a tuck turn, a lead out, a hammerlock to a turn and an underarm turn.we also started a 8 count step and an 8 count tuck turn. it only gets more confusing after this.... yea! i'm so excited! in the meantime, i'll take a look at these online swing dance lessons bwahahahaha posted by tha muce -|- 4/11/2004 10:30:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, April 01, 2004 appropriate songs: Gary Jules - Mad World (have you heard the original? it's funny--weird, not haha) Mars Volta - Televators brace yourself i dont know what's going on lately. is it the change in weather? the change in daylength? maybe it's just a coincidence. or MAYBE its just that everyone is getting over that post-new-year-hopefulness and into the my-year-has-ALREADY-gone-to-shit slump. whatever it is, something is NOT right. something doesn't feel good, and it hasn't for a long time. you're tired all the time. you force yourself to go out for your own sake. you want to sit and just cry. you want to be a lump on the couch. you're frustrated with yourself and others and your moods swing high and low faster than you can say manic-depressive. sound familiar? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! a lot of my friends feel this way, and i'm no exception. hopefully it's a transitory feeling, but what the heck. i was talking with my little brother the other day and he told me about this psychological term which means that your personality changes according to environment ie. people. hm. but are we all bringing each other down? methinks no. so what is it? i know a lot of my friends are bummed about relationship crap. i hate that kind of crap. it sticks to you for a long time and starts to make you smell bad and then people dont want to talk with you for fear of getting the crap on them too. it's the worst! but i also know people who are bummed because of worrying about the future. i guess relationship crap falls into this category too, but... whatever. i know people who are stressing about grad schools, college, jobs.... uncertainty is for SUCKS, and no one likes being a suck. are we expecting too much? i see this quote a lot-- something like "expectation is the root of frustration". or something. but gosh, that would be awfully depressing, to live expecting the worst-- eventually you'd become bitter and cynical. i dont know, that's just not my style. but i've seen myself inching in that direction and i dont like it.... grrrrr. posted by tha muce -|- 4/01/2004 05:47:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, March 29, 2004 recently viewed: The Good Girl, Donnie Darko swing and taboo the last time my friends and i went swing dancing, there was a creepy guy that kept following my friend. he has long curly, gray hair that he keeps in a ponytail (which looks like a an old raccoon hat-- davy crocket style) and a blue button up shirt and black pants and converse all star shoes. he has glasses and a mustache and beard. he asked my friend to dance at least 5 times and followed her around the room and kept asking, even though she politely declined. he was there on saturday night too! we saw him prowling the dance floor looking for another victim. when he saw my friend again, he followed her around the dancefloor. luckily, this time we had a plan. we just had to keep her dancing. unfortunately, i dont think she wanted to dance all that much, and instead she pretended to be with another one of my friends to deter the old guy. it worked until the old guy started following one of the guys that my friend was pretending to be with. old guy followed him around too and gave him the "stink eye" and other such dirty looks. horrible!! eventually the guy left but now my friend doens't want to go back for fear that the old guy will be there again! DAMN YOU old guy and your raccoon hat hair!! after swing dancing we went to a bar where you can play board games. we decided to play taboo, and here are some of the hilarious things they said (you can play along too!): W: they sell delectables outside grocery stores.... P: a small child poops in this.... *gestures holding something round-ish and heavy in the palm of his hand* posted by tha muce -|- 3/29/2004 03:19:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, March 25, 2004 "i was having sex with my own sister?!?!?!" ~ SVU just thought i'd share a random article i found at wikipedia Sexual imprinting Sexual imprinting is the process by which a young animal learns the characteristics of a desirable mate. For example, male zebra finches appear to prefer mates with the appearance of the female bird that rears them, rather than mates of their own type. Sexual imprinting on objects other than people is the most popular theory of the development of sexual fetishism. For example, according to this theory, imprinting on shoes or boots (as with Lorenz' geese) would be the cause of shoe fetishism. Westermarck effect Reverse sexual imprinting is also seen: when two people live in close domestic proximity during the first few years in the life of either one, both are desensitized to later close sexual attraction and bonding. The Westermarck effect was discovered by anthropologist Edward Westermarck. This has since been observed in many places and cultures, including in the Israeli kibbutz system, and the Shim-pua marriage customs of Taiwan, as well as in biological-related families. When this does not occur, for example where a brother and sister are brought up not knowing about one another, they may find one another highly sexually attractive when they meet as adults. This observation is consistent with the theory that reverse imprinting evolved to suppress inbreeding. Westermarck vs. Freud Freud argued that members of the same family naturally lust for one another, making it necessary for societies to create incest taboos, but Westermarck argued the reverse, that incest taboos themselves arise naturally as products of response mediated by a relatively simple inherited epigenetic rule, namely the Westermarck effect. Subsequent research over the years supports Westermarck's observations and interpretation. isn't that wonderful? btw i'm trying out how mu blog works if the links don't open their own windows. now i can see where y'all are clicking off to. bwaahahahaha sleuthing at its best... posted by tha muce -|- 3/25/2004 11:57:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Wednesday, March 24, 2004 humming to myself: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps trivia night Q: whose administration established the New Deal? B: FDR FDR!! M: okay! (M writes down the answer furiously, then examines his answer, and turns to B) M: is that right? B: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---- it's FRANKLIN not FREDERICK (L overhears) L: what? B: M--- wrote Frederick! L: HAAAAAHAHAHA Frederick Delano Roosevelt!! B: FRED ROOSEVELT!!! last night i went to a trivia game at a bar called the bitter end. it was lots of fun. they have really hot hot wings there-- i licked one of the celery stalks that had a just a tiny little speck of the "911" sauce and it completely burned my mouth. and by that time i had finished my drink and had to resort to fanning my tongue. yes. with all the Fred Roosevelt jokes, TRIVET, Green Eggs and Hamas (and shiite out of luck), and limericks about Stanford's inability to perform ("PREMATURELY!!!"), it was a great time. maybe i can go again sometime. bwaahaaha. posted by tha muce -|- 3/24/2004 11:26:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, March 22, 2004 recently acquired: His Dark Materials Trilogy (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass) by Phillip Pullman The Pillowbook of Sei Shonagon translated by Ivan Morris The Real Thing by Tom Stoppard "Pygmalion" and "Major Barbara" by George Bernard Shaw The Complete Stories of Franz Kafka The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean another borders trip i've decided that to counteract the stagnation of brain activity which has followed the end of the undergraduate portion of my educational career, i must read more. hopefully this will get my brain juices flowing. because at the moment, i'm feeling devoid of intellectual thought. THAT can't be healthy. i picked up those books at an attempt to get my dendrites growing, because work is just not cutting it. his dark materials is for pure fun, and supposed to be turned into movies a la harry potter or lord of the rings sei shonagon's pillowbook-- if you've really kept up with my blog, you'll remember that this is a journal of sorts, which included lists, anecdotes and other things-- kind of like my very own blog. the real thing is a play by tom stoppard-- same guy that wrote arcadia, rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead, shakespeare in love... i took a playwriting class and discovered i liked his style pygmalion-- a friend is doing the play, and i thought i'd figure out why it's so cool franz kafka - seems like one of those people whose work you should have read the orchid thief - this book was the inspiration for adaptation, so i HAD to get it hopefully these will keep me busy. not to mention i have a whole lot more books sitting on my shelf that i havent read yet (catch 22, three musketeers, and my copy of lolita that i was halfway through but can't seem to find now grrrrrr). friendster rocks today i got in touch with a friend i haven't heard from in nearly 5 years! HI ASH! i found him through friendster, isn't that amazing! you can use it for things other than as the usual diversion from work, or for management of your fob girl fanclub (RSVP-- haha). anyways, i'm really grateful for having the opportunity to speak with him again. best part-- he's an AIM addict like me-- and that's damn wonderful. i hope i'm able to keep in touch this time. situational shyness would you call me shy? i find that i tend to be more or less outgoing depending on the situation. for example, when i was in my mentoring program, i dont think anyone who knew me solely from the mentoring program would dare call me shy. i was required to direct the mentors and mentees in various activities and would have to be loud and ultra friendly, and in short, be a leader. but, i distinctly remember being at a party with very few people i knew, and i was not being very social at all. likewise, depending on my company i will be quiet or loud. if i'm around a quiet people, i tend to be loud, and vice versa. i'm also more outgoing in small groups. i think large groups of unfamiliar people intimidate me. or maybe i'm a constant level of shy/outgoing, and everyone else is at opposite ends of the spectrum. either way, i think it's funny that people call me a social butterfly. i just like having people and friends around me-- i'm not really that social. i think i've learned to get around my shyness for the sake of whatever activities i like to do. but inside, i think i'm still the quiet introvert. or maybe i'm wrong... posted by tha muce -|- 3/22/2004 11:30:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Saturday, March 20, 2004 just saw: Dawn of the Dead still want to see: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind newest source of inspiration: Adaptation i was going to post more, but i'm tired. posted by tha muce -|- 3/20/2004 01:18:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Friday, March 19, 2004 OMG!! technical difficulties!!! posted by tha muce -|- 3/19/2004 11:28:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, March 18, 2004 don't forget to turn off the like switch when you're done! so a friend mentioned that she's totally lost interest in this guy she's been dating casually. usually they went out for drinks or had lunch. in any case, it's official. the like for this guy has been switched OFF. in a big way. if you've been reading lately (questionable), there was a post about how people who smell good are more attractive. needless to say, people who don't smell good aren't as attractive. and that's how it all went down. this guy my friend's been dating just didn't smell all that good, and she had no desire to kiss him AT ALL (i have no regrets AT ALL-- 10 points if you know what that's from). apart from that, he's a big time druggie (another big turn off) so it's no wonder that his like switch was completely off by the end of the day. anyways, this is what usually happens to me-- i like a guy-i like a guy- i like a guy and then WHOOPS i find out some horrible thing and the like goes OFF. sometimes it's a fatal flaw-- he smokes, he's a druggie, he's got a gf/strong interest, he's gay (not a fatal flaw, but doesn't do me much good)-- and sometimes it's just something that creeps up on me after getting to know the guy-- he's more annoying than i thought, he won't open up to me, he won't hold my hand, he shows me his junk on the first date-- and suddenly, any feelings i had for the guy go right out the window, and involuntarily, the like is GONE with a quickness. sometimes, if i have to, i can purposely turn those feelings off like *SNAP* lights-off and i can make myself not like someone. very abruptly. it just might take a bitch-out session or two, but usually i can force it upon myself, and then they are dead to me! in the like sense, anyways. that's not so hard. i hear sometimes, "i cant just change my feelings like that." luckily i can. what is that supposed to mean. maybe it means my like doesn't run that deep. regardless, it's not usually horribly hard to move on. it doesn't always happen this way, but i would say that i dont NORMALLY linger on guys that i know i can't/shouldn't be with. what a shame when they give the impression of being a good guy. posted by tha muce -|- 3/18/2004 02:11:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, March 16, 2004 a good snack: whole wheat crackers with almond butter and honey. YUM! fun song: the stills - still in love song posted by tha muce -|- 3/16/2004 02:08:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! really want to see: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind listening to: apartment 26 - give me more, the mars volta - televators injury report: i have a nasty nasty bruise on my right ankle. it's really ugly. it's just so ugly that i may end up putting a picture of it up somewhere. i got it from raymond, this badass guy in his 30s that's in my martial arts class. he's crazy. anyways, he was demonstrating how to defend a kick with the muscle on the side of your shin. so i did a roundhouse kick, and it was a weak one, for the sake of showing the technique. but then he told me to REALLY kick, so i did, and he happened to catch my shin with his, and it left a really ugly bruise on my leg. right now it's turning a little more greenish, so i guess that means it's healing. he demonstrated this defense several times and then proceeded to do a combination from this block and he ended up kicking my ankle so hard i thought it was going to give (i have weak ankles) and so that's where my ugly bruise came from. it looks like all the curface capillaries broke. i described it to a friend as a purple tattoo gone wrong. later, raymond demonstrated another kick defense where you catch their leg and then push the person, effectively tripping them. i flew backwards and i had to keep my head tucked to keep it from smacking the mat. i have a bad bad bad habit of letting my head snap back on really hard back falls, so i did my best to keep my head tucked tight. thankfully, i was hellbent on not getting whiplash, so neither my head or neck hurt afterward. ragin' so i was feeling particularly masochisitc on sunday and i decided it would be fun to put my fist through a piece of wood. instead of picking a nice pretty piece of wood with a good grain, i decided it would be exceedingly more fun to try and break an ugly board-- heavy with a knot smack in the middle. i got a holder (probably my second mistake, because i probably should have had two) and proceeded to try and break through the board with a palm heel strike. no luck. i tried again with a knifehand strike. still nothing. by then the feeling in my hand was a nice dull sting and i was enjoying the sensation when dr link came and traded boards. that one was way too nice-- light, with straight grain, no knots. elaine pointed out that it was dense, but i've broken harder. i broke two ugly boards once, with the same kind of strike. later on i was practicing air falls on the mat, trying to build up the courage to try it on my left side without a fluffy mat. i finally did it, but because of my bruised leg the impact seemed to travel the length of my right shin and it stung bad too. and then i did it again. it felt good to get out some pent up energy. i still have the two halves of my broken board sitting in the front seat of my car. maybe i'll decorate them and put them up in my room. or maybe i'll just use them as bonfire fuel. posted by tha muce -|- 3/16/2004 01:13:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Friday, March 12, 2004 Law and Order: SVU In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Pleasant Hill, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories. Borders Bookstore, Pleasant Hill, 10:00pm girl 1: So what should we do now? girl 2: Well, I'm done looking at stuff. You wanna just go to the cafe? girl 1: Okay let's go. girl 2: Should we get our usual table? girl 1: Yes, let's. [They sit at a table] girl 2: You have crumbs on your arm. I think it's from the table. girl 1: Ewww gross... [girl 1 gets a napkin at the far counter, returns, and wipes the table] girl 1: This is nasty! girl 2: OH MY GOD. girl 1: hm? girl 2: THAT GUY. He's jacking off outside! [Law and Order Theme] the thought occurred to me that we should call the police, because who knows, he might still be in the area. eventually i found a phone book and i reported the incident to the police, and becky filled me in on most of the description info. after that we figured we had done our duty as citizens looking out for our fellow prey, so we got in beck's car and began our drive home. little did we know that when you file a report, you actually have to speak to a cop in person. i got a call partway home telling us to come back so we could speak with an officer. NOTE: if you want to report something, wait for the police to come so anyways, we get back to border to speak with the police, and they take down our info and our description of the baddie -- 35-40, balding, brown hair, tall (6'+?), 180-190 (thin frame) with a button up white collared shirt with stripes and blue jeans and a mustache. they also noted the direction he was going and of all things, the officer asked if he was erect (does this change the severity of the crime or something?) they also asked that if he was caught if we wanted to put him under citizen's arrest, and have to ID him if he was brought to court since it was a misdemeanor offense. i don't think i totally understood everything he said, but eventually we agreed that we didn't want to have to go to the trouble of prosecuting, or pressing charges, or whatever. i'm sure i'm leaving stuff out. but anyways, i think we did the right thing. kicking his ass would have been really fun, but calling the police was kind of an adventure too. and at least now there's a filed report. it was so disturbing because this was totally a "normal" looking guy. middle aged, balding, had a cell phone! and he had the guts to jerk off outside a public cafe. what the hell? what kind of person DOES that. NASTY ASS MAN. SO CREEPY. posted by tha muce -|- 3/12/2004 12:18:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, March 09, 2004 i like: muse - time is running out the mars volta - televators yeah yeah yeahs - maps h.i.m. - join me the fire theft - chain lost prophets - last train home the living end - who's gonna save us von bondies - c'mon c'mon gavin degraw - i don't want to be HA you can hear most all of these on one radio station posted by tha muce -|- 3/09/2004 11:57:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, March 08, 2004 streaming over the comp speakers: Gavin DeGraw - I Don't Want to Be (I DON'T watch One Tree Hill--or whatever) A Story Once upon a time, i was an awkward eighth grader going to weekly confirmation classes at my church. while attending these classes, i developed a massive infatuation with one of my classmates, a cute, short, slightly curly, black-haired, pale skinned, light eyed, half-mexican, american boy. so anyways, we were into each other, and we both knew it. we used to do stupid little things like hold hands during the "our father". i remember once, we were holding hands and he started to rub mine with his thumb, and i freaked out and said, "what are you doing!". there were all kind of shady little things like that that we probably shouldn't have been doing in a class where the primary reason for going was to learn about God (as opposed to get our adolescent game on). in any case, we ended up exchanging phone numbers, and we called each other a few times. it was all very innocent and such, but we didn't talk much after high school started. after i left for puerto rico, i pretty much forgot all about him, until yesterday. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!! while shopping at the mall with judy and becky, we ventured into victorias secret. i bought 5 new undawears (5/$20!!) and i planned to go home and put them on and dance in front of the mirror. but i digress. while at victorias secret, i was in line to pay for my purchases when i spotted out of the corner of my eye a dark haired man, with pale skin. he looked eerily familiar. i had to look again and to my surprise, he had seen me too, and was looking in my direction. i couldn't believe it. he had the exact same face from eighth grade and almost the same height (or maybe we had both just grown taller), same slightly curly hair, same light eyes, with just a suggestion of a mustache. but the biggest surprise-- he was pushing a stroller. with a kid in it. HOLY SHIT-- he has a kid??? and then i turn away... no, that CAN'T be him. i look again, and he's still looking at me... it HAS to be him... and who's that with him.... it must be his wife.... WITH ANOTHER BABY ON HER SHOULDER. what the hell?? i'm totally stunned... i turn to becky who is in line behind me, and hiss at her -- do you remember that guy i hella liked in 8th grade? i swear, THAT'S HIM. and it's a huge shock and for a second my head is reeling -- he has a kid? NO, he has TWO. he's MY age! he has a wife! this is the guy i was totally crushing on in eighth grade! and he has a kid! NO, TWO! what the hell happened? he was such a sweet kid. i knew him when he was still young and innocent, and suddenly he's got a FAMILY, and i can't even get a DATE. the phrase "shotgun marriage" enters my mind when becky and i notice he doesn't look all that happy (then again, what guy would be happy going into VS with their wife and kids-- or shopping at all for that matter). anyways, in the eight or so years since i've seen him, while i graduated high school and college, he went and had kids. at that moment, i really really felt bad for him. barely legal, with two kids. even if he is happy, he can't have the freedom i do. as becky would put it, "when you have kids it means your life is OVER". at the very least, living life for yourself is over. being responsible for just yourself is over. i just hope he's happy. PLEASE be happy. posted by tha muce -|- 3/08/2004 10:52:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Saturday, March 06, 2004 soooo tired [sleepy stream of consciousness post] why am i still up... i just wrote an email... and now i'm listening to 3EB ("crystal baller" & "another life" if you're interested). i'm thinking of getting the new hanson CD whenever it is released. i want to see trapt in concert. they're playing in april nearby i think. my head hurts like i have a headache. i think it was because lisa did a scissors takedown and i stupidly forgot to tuck my head and it hit the mat. owwie. i did a lot of dive rolls today. super fun. i want to get good at those again. my form is shit. i think my 7 or 8 rolls probably would have felt a lot better without the over-rotation problem of the haas spring loaded floor. i got some nice compliments (so reassuring!), so maybe they weren't all as ugly as i thought. esp dr link. "very pretty" YEA AWESOME. a compliment from dr link is like a hickey from kinikie or whatever. his compliments should be put in hallmark cards for "when you care enough to send the very best". that's like getting an A from a bitch teacher in a hard class. woo hoo1. damn $1.99 french vanilla cappuccinos at denny's. is it really the caffeine? i want to go to bed.... but i am compelled to stay up. i should just sit in bed and read s'more. i'm reading this book "the golden compass" that my friend seanie recommended. it's pretty good so far. it's taken me a week (more like 2 evenings and a few hours spread out over a week) to read ten and a half chapters, but it only took me 2 weeks to read the first 4 harry potter books. i guess i'm not so into them. it's a good book tho. i think i'm not liking the main character. major obstacle to overcome if the author would like me to continue the series. i want my 1984 book. i dont know where it went. i got a copy of catcher in the rye for fifty cents at the library. i must contemplate this blurting thing that beck speaks of. you always see in music videos the bassist is the guy that's grinding away with his guitar. the lead guitarist is like whatever, and then the rhythm guitarist is like up and down, JANG JANG JANG, but the bassist grinds on his guitar.... like the guy in 3EB, i think he's notorious for that. it kinds looks like the guy in switchfoot does that too. hooray [/sleepy stream of consciousness post] posted by tha muce -|- 3/06/2004 02:55:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, March 04, 2004  i heard about this on the radio this ad appeared in vogue magazine, and it was banned in the uk for being offensive. article follows: A magazine ad for Australian supermodel Elle Macpherson's line of lingerie was banned in Britain after it was labelled "offensive". Inspired by the Alfred Hitchcock (news) film "Rear Window", the ad for Elle Macpherson Intimates shows a woman through a keyhole, dressed in a bra and panties -- with her thumbs inside the panties. "The complainant objected that the advertisement was offensive because it suggested that the model was masturbating," the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA), an industry watchdog, ruled. Obviously, that "complainant" has a very dirty mind. Ladies, is it even possible to masturbate with your thumbs? OK, maybe it does look like she's masturbating in the ad. Obviously as dirty-minded as the "complainant," the ASA said the ad was "likely to cause serious or widespread offence," disagreeing with the editors of Vogue -- in which it had appeared -- who thought it was "beautiful with no disturbing undertones". Bendon Ltd, which markets Elle Macpherson Intimates, was instructed by the ASA not to repeat the image again, and to seek advice before running similar ads in the future. posted by tha muce -|- 3/04/2004 01:44:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! smelly if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then surely the way to a woman's heart is through her nose. i was talking to a good (girl) friend of mine and she agreed-- guys that smell good = HUGE turn on. BUT-- do we like guys that smell good? or do we like a guy and then notice he smells good? it's a sort of chicken and egg situation, no? but this same friend and i agree, when you start to notice how a guy smells, it's totally the kiss of death-- and you know you are in an extreme state of "like". for most of the guys i've liked, i can remember thinking that he smelled good. a guy i used to date smelled like irish spring. another smelled like another boy-type soap. or soap on a boy. whatever. another smelled soft like faded guy's cologne. and i can remember this for most guys that i've liked. if i didn't remember how he smelled, i probably didn't like him all that much. yes, my friend and i agree, if you're a boy and we like how you smell, it might just be safe to say, we're all yours... does this hold true for other people? posted by tha muce -|- 3/04/2004 12:19:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Wednesday, March 03, 2004 listening to: H.I.M. - Join Me In Death --- it's so morbidly beautiful it hurts the heroes of H.I.M's Join Me in Death are none other than Romeo and Juliet. most everyone knows the story-- romeo and juliet are on opposite sides of viciously feuding families but fall in love anyways, blah blah, they get married, blah blah, one kills the other's cousin, blah blah, romeo skips town, juliet feigns death but romeo doesn't know, blah blah, romeo kills himself in grief, juliet finds out romeo is dead and kills herself -- because she can't bear to live without romeo. is that about right? who's the star of the show? no my friends, not romeo or juliet, it's love for godsakes (didn't you see shakespeare in love?)! love had the power to end feuds and bring people together who you would never think would get along. at the same time, it killed two kids and caused them each a life's worth of agony. so this crazy little thing called love. it's so fulfilling and completing that we have special ceremonies and parties just to celebrate it and yet it can bring so much personal anguish, real or imagined. whole industries that are built upon it. it's fleeting, and yet lasts forever. it feels delicious and at the same time, so painful. some people live for it. some people die for it. it drives some people, and drives others crazy. it's a horrbily wonderful dichotomy. i know of several people (probably know more than that), off the top of my head, for whom this is a truth, myself inlcuded. actually.... hasn't EVERYONE felt this at one time or another? UGH Join Me In Death by H.I.M. We are so young Our lives have just begun But already we're considering Escape from this world And we've waited for so long For this moment to come Was so anxious to be together Together in death This world is a cruel place And we're here only to lose So before live tears us apart let Death bless me with you This live ain't worth living Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death Won't you die Baby join me in death Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death enjoy posted by tha muce -|- 3/03/2004 12:31:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Saturday, February 28, 2004 word of the day pro·cure (pr-kyr, pr-) v. pro·cured, pro·cur·ing, pro·cures v. tr. 1. To get by special effort; obtain or acquire: managed to procure a pass. 2. To bring about; effect: procure a solution to a knotty problem. 3. To obtain (a sexual partner) for another. v. intr. To obtain sexual partners for others. posted by tha muce -|- 2/28/2004 01:05:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, February 26, 2004 on the radio: Story of the Year - Until the Day I Die (i likey. it's so angry) now playing: Nadasurf - Inside of Love (awww how sweet) arrrrrrrrrrrg i forgot my phone today!!! stupid me!! i feel so... naked... injury report recovered from... bruised tailbone, ripped nail sore.... hips, calves, quads bably bruised left bicep (arrrg kick defenses) badly bruised ego ugh i'm soooo out of shape. i really need to buckle down and get my endurance back up to an acceptable level so at the very least i'm not dying when i try to do stairs. i realize now what the hills of the berkeley campus have done for my fitness level. after working at a sit down job in front of a computer all day, i really value having to walk around between classes. gotta get back in shape gotta get back in shape gotta get back in shape... posted by tha muce -|- 2/26/2004 11:28:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, February 23, 2004 i write the songs that make the whole world bang no, it's not a will hung reference... it's the PUNK-O-MATIC! this is so damn addicting. what i find slightly weird is that i can see myself buying the music i can make with this thing. is that a testament to how pathetic my taste in music is, or how cool this game is? hmmmm..... we were meant to live for so much more i really really really like this song by the band Switchfoot Meant To Live Fumbling his confidence And wondering why the world has passed him by Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments And failed attempts to fly, fly Dreaming about Providence And whether mice or men have second tries Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open Maybe we're bent and broken, broken We want more than this world's got to offer We want more than the wars of our fathers And everything inside screams for second life We were meant to live for so much more Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside posted by tha muce -|- 2/23/2004 11:23:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! injury update i forgot about my bruised tailbone. wah it hurts posted by tha muce -|- 2/23/2004 09:10:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far!  breastcakes-- i mean, boobcups--er... so i was googling miss piggy's nipples (check out judy's blog over there for more on that) ---> when i came across a recipe for janet jackson boob cupcakes, complete with nipple jewelry. they look delish... i think i'm going to make them sometime, just for a laugh. posted by tha muce -|- 2/23/2004 12:15:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Sunday, February 22, 2004 injury report nasty bruise on hipbone, 3 inches, black spots bitten cheek, just a spot finger nail, slightly ripped off of nailbed, about 1mm ankles feeling shaky (like always) very tight hamstrings tight inner thigh muscle posted by tha muce -|- 2/22/2004 09:34:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Wednesday, February 18, 2004 another hair cut so i cut my hair again and made the lady give me bangs. it's an okay cut, much different from what i've had for the past, oh, twelve years. it's kinda fun, but i also have weird pieces of hair around my head that are way too long, but now i can't get rid of them, because then my hair would look even stranger. right now i'm thinking i might cut my hair shoulder length again to give my bangs a chance to catch up and grow more normal looking. it's weird having this cut. at first i looked like i was 12. 4 weeks later, i look my age again (i think?), but it's a little disturbing. people that used to say hi to me don't recognize me anymore! i was recently on campus, and i asked this girl if she was so-and-so and she denied that it was her name. and i was like WHOA... i'm pretty sure that was your name. do you not recognize me?? ANSWER ME BIOTCH!. not in those words tho. not in any words, actually. instead all i said was "oh" and sat back down in my seat. but that's not all, later the same night, a guy who should have recognized me did that squinty do-i-know-you look when i said hi. it took him more than a second to remember who i was, when the recognition would have been instantaneous otherwise. it creeps me out a little. worse yet, a new friend of mine didn't think i was asian! what the hell. is this due to my haircut?? with one fell swoop, have i rid myself of my physical cultural identity? damn. posted by tha muce -|- 2/18/2004 01:35:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! so that's where that came from...(?) In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling. is there actually truth to this? posted by tha muce -|- 2/18/2004 12:31:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! better late than never here now... the origins of valentines day one! two! three! die valentines biotches! posted by tha muce -|- 2/18/2004 12:26:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Friday, February 13, 2004 all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players they have their exits and their entrances and one man in his time plays many parts... a good friend got back from a year and a half stay in japan, and told me about his experience trying to readjust to being in america. he's super american, and i'm sure he stuck out like a sore thumb most places he went. he had a hard time getting used to being back-- shopping is different, food is different, people have different mannerisms. but most of all, he had a hard time getting used to being accountable again. he was foreign and had no previous experience with the language, so no one expected him to be able to communicate, or get around, and so no one exprected him to know anything about anything. he got to play dumb so to speak (haha), and he also had no ties to anyone while he was there, and had little contact with english speakers (save the occasional IM conversation). he really had no obligations to anyone but himself. i remember experiencing something similar when i moved to puerto rico. suddenly, i had no ties, but those to my immediate family. i had no obligations to friends, and i was the new girl. no one knew me, i didn't know anyone else, i was just the girl from california. if you've never been the new kid, it's a strange thing. you start all over, you have to build new bridges. apart form that, you can be whoever you want to be. it's not even like changing schools or moving up a grade, since you're completely displaced. it's like in those movies or afterschool specials, you get a CLEAN SLATE. it's really liberating, not having a past. when i came back, i reassumed my role. i regained all my obligations, my family ties, my responsibilities to other people. it wasn't a bad thing, but at the same time, while i was off starting over, it seemed that everyone had become someone else my absence. and while my friends had a chance to gradually get used to who they are now, i was suddenly thrown back into a situation where i felt like i should have known who i was and who my friends were, and i was really frustrated when i didn't. i'm glad i'm getting to know my friends again. posted by tha muce -|- 2/13/2004 02:29:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, February 12, 2004 singing along with: Switchfoot - Meant to Live  how Barbie got her groove back barbie's got a new boy toy--> Barbie and Ken have gone the way of J. Lo and Ben. Following much public speculation about Ken's sexual orientation and Barbie's busy schedule (she does, after all, have 90 careers), the pair have decided to split. "After 43 years of dating, Barbie and Ken have drifted apart," said Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Barbie and Ken's parent company, Mattel. "There are a lot of successful career women out there who don't want to get tied down," Arons added. On the eve of the 101st annual American International Toy Fair in Manhattan, a major event when U.S. retailers try to identify the next toy trends and place orders for the Christmas season, Mattel says Barbie, born in 1959, will reclaim her identity as a California girl with a "carefree and independent look." Maybe Barbie got bored with Ken. Maybe she realized she didn't need a man in order to be happy. Maybe Ken came out of the closet. But perhaps, say marketing experts, Mattel wanted to shed a doll that may have been an unprofitable drag on the Barbie name. "This pretend-boyfriend thing probably just wasn't helping sales anymore," suggested John Lister, chairman of Lister Butler Consulting, a Manhattan-based brand identity firm. Arons disputed that version of the story. "The breakup of Barbie and Ken has nothing to do with Ken's sales. They've been strong all along," she said. She added that Ken will remain on shelves. And hopefully he won't take it too personally when Barbie starts dating again. Arons hinted that by fall, Barbie will have her eye on a new Mattel character, an Australian beach boy named Blaine. The shift gives Mattel some freedom to play around with Barbie's identity. "This allows Mattel to offer more competitive versions of Barbie," Lister said. Mattel may indeed be feeling pressure to freshen up the Barbie icon. With sales of $3.6 billion in 2003, Barbie ranks as the top-selling doll brand in the world. But competitors are catching up, and Mattel has been scrambling to develop its own alternatives to offerings including MGA Entertainment's Bratz line of hip-hop dolls targeted at girls ages 9 to 12, or "tweens," as they are known to marketers. Mattel recently launched the "My Scene" line of Barbie dolls to compete with Bratz. In some respects, the breakup itself allows Mattel to put a contemporary spin on the popular doll line. "It's probably a good thing, for these American icons to continue, that they represent phases that real families go through," said Thomas Conley, president of the Toy Industry Association. "Everything's fair in love and war," he added. posted by tha muce -|- 2/12/2004 10:05:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, February 10, 2004 on the radio as i type: Maroon 5 - This Love ---- oh yeah baby.  food in the melting pot i cant be excluded from this generalization, but i think it's weird that americans feel the need to change everything to suit their needs, or make it better. case in point: sushi. a friend of mine just got back from a one and a half year stay. one day i was talking to him about my lunch at a sushi place and i couldn't help but wonder if they had the same things on the menu. this place i went i deemed non-authentic when glancng at the sushi menu i found: rainbow rolls, cream cheese rolls, spider rolls, and something strange called a "sexy" roll. sexy sushi, try saying that 10 times fast. anyways, my friend confirmed my suspictions, and as yummy as the rolls looked and probably taste, it's just not authentic (am i right here?). but that's not the end of it, by far. spaghetti here doesn't taste the same as it does in italy, does it? have you ever seen the commercials that say something like "sauce modified to american tastes" or "based on american tastes". i'm pretty sure i have. i'd include pizza, but i think there's debate as to whether it's an american invention or not. i'd elaborate more, because i'm sure there's more examples, but i'm still at work. either way, i dont know what to make of it all. for sure there's an argument for keeping the integrity of traditional foods, but, this IS america, and the modern notion of america is based in the idea of the melting pot (personally i think america is more like a salad, but whatever). i guess if america is supposed to a melting pot (salad) it's okay. especially if sexy rolls taste good. musings on life i kinda like this wordspy word of the day: flash mob flash mob (FLASH mawb) n. A large group of people who gather in a usually predetermined location, perform some brief action, and then quickly disperse. —v., —adj. —flash mobber n. —flash mobbing pp. Example Citation: The Internet has spawned a gaggle of new verbs — Googling, surfing and flaming are words most of us are used to hearing in everyday conversation. Now you can add "flash mobbing" to that list. In recent weeks, New Yorkers have been using forwarded e-mails to coordinate "flash mobs," or not-so-random crowds that appear and dissipate within a matter of minutes. Is it performance art? The cutting edge of a new social movement? Or just an easy way to flummox carpet salesmen? To protect the planned serendipity of each event, participants aren't told exactly what the mob is supposed to do until just before the event happens. For the most recent New York happening on July 2, participants passed around an e-mail telling them to assemble at the food court in Grand Central Station, where organizers (identifiable by the copies of the New York Review of Books they were holding) then gave mobbers printed instructions regarding what to do next. The result: Shortly after 7 p.m., about 200 people suddenly assembled on the mezzanine level of the Grand Hyatt Hotel next to Grand Central Station, applauded loudly for 15 seconds, then left. —Maureen Ryan, "All in a flash: Meet, mob and move on," Chicago Tribune, July 11, 2003 posted by tha muce -|- 2/10/2004 11:09:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Sunday, February 08, 2004 returning fan of: the Men's Octet can't get enough of: Maroon 5 - This Love still rocking to: The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love words of the day fortuitous: (f?r-t-ts, -ty-) adj. Happening by accident or chance. See Synonyms at accidental. Usage Problem. Happening by a fortunate accident or chance. Lucky or fortunate. curmudgeon (kr-mjn) n: An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions n: a crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas ardent (?rdnt) adj: Expressing or characterized by warmth of feeling; passionate: an ardent lover. Displaying or characterized by strong enthusiasm or devotion; fervent: ?an impassioned age, so ardent and serious in its pursuit of art? (Walter Pater). Burning; fiery. Glowing; shining: ardent eyes. posted by tha muce -|- 2/08/2004 02:38:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, February 05, 2004 slang ever wonder what your name might mean in the slang dictionary? check out the infinite teen slang dictionary. my name might (but doesn't) mean n. 1. a gun. 2. marijuana. "I'm gonna chase your (my name), kid." ironic, eh? posted by tha muce -|- 2/05/2004 01:50:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! wah okay so i feel bad. i can see there are people checkin this thing out, and boo me, i haven't posted in over a month! I KNOW! I'M HORRIBLE! and i realize there's only so much i can post about my friends theories about homosexuality in LOTR before it gets old. rest assured i'm going to remedy the problem, by posting at work, when i have nothing better to do (which is often). plus i will stop isketching so much, so i can write here. there's way too much good stuff to not be keeping track here. SO...  SVU me, baby i'm addicted. isketch, jt's blocks, trading spaces, AIM, the mole, hankido, those horrible french vanilla cappuccinos at denny's for $1.99 even though i hate coffee. and now, LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. damn you, dick wolf, for your quality programming! this show is SO TWISTED. the episode that was the kiss of death for me was the one where the rape victim (all victims on this show are victims of sexual crimes--rape, pedophilia, etc) had trisomy 21, and never took sex ed class, so she didn't know that what her boss called "exercise" was really nasty broom-closet sex. sadly, i'm sure it was this episode is the one that got me hooked, and it stands alone as a classic amongst my friends and me. it's on EVERY NIGHT on the USA network and i MUST watch! so when 11pm rolls around, look out! because the TV is mine-- i have a date to keep with christopher meloni. posted by tha muce -|- 2/05/2004 01:43:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, December 18, 2003 AND MORE on the theory added 12/18: K: I just saw LOTR K: Hobbits are such homos A oh yeah? K: like when frodo kisses sam K: and then holds the back of his neck and leans in A: aww, that was sweet! K: shire = ghomorra K: feel free to post that K: and quote A: hahaha K: Shire = Ghomorra, Anywhere Sam and Frodo go together = Sodom K: later K: oh one more thing K: not a joke K: the whole thing was a biblical metaphor K: tolkien was catholic K: steward for the king = pope as vicar of christ until his return K: armageddon, the saints coming back to fight, etc. K: it really shown through in the movie K: last will be first, first will be last, etc. K: later posted by tha muce -|- 12/18/2003 05:17:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! you keep nasty envelopes! i'm at work. i just mailed out three envelopes. now, envelopes are a funny thing... some (the normal ones) taste like nasty glue. fine. it's glue, it's probably not supposed to taste good. then there are the ones that are slightly sweet. fine. the envelope company decided if you have to lick them, they might as well be somewhat pleasant to the palate. they didn't quite get it right, but that's okay, it's relativlely better than just plain nasty glue. i've also had minty glue on my envelopes. not really my cup of tea, but still slightly better than the nasty plain ones. but today-- either they added a new flavor or my tongue is seriously messed up-- i had SALTY envelopes. being the lazy bum that i am, i refused to get some water to moisten the envelopes. there were only three besides, so i decided to just lick them. THEY WERE DISGUSTING. they totally made me want to puke and i had to spit out my saliva after. SO GROSS!! BEWARE THE SALTY ENVELOPES posted by tha muce -|- 12/18/2003 11:50:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Wednesday, December 17, 2003 lotr: rotk kicks ass (no spoilers, or at least none that will give away plot) there's nothing like going to the midnight, 1st-showing-of-the-day of a surefire blockbuster. AMAZING. my jaw dropped at least 5 times during this movie. minas tirith looked amazing. the fights were cool. each of the hobbits finally gets to shine in his own right. gollum is awesomely horrible. eowyn is beautiful. legolas is gorgeous, as always. just go see it already! posted by tha muce -|- 12/17/2003 03:13:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! words of the day: hoar·y ( P ) Pronunciation Key (héŠ, hr) adj. hoar·i·er, hoar·i·est 1. Gray or white with or as if with age. 2. Covered with grayish hair or pubescence: hoary leaves. 3. So old as to inspire veneration; ancient. i·dol·a·try ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-dl-tr) n. pl. i·dol·a·tries 1. Worship of idols. 2. Blind or excessive devotion to something. posted by tha muce -|- 12/17/2003 02:49:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! SPOLIERS and elf lovin' M: gimli didn't do much M: sad M: "that STILL only counts as ONE" C: gimli sucks though M: but he was legolas' bed buddy M: that has to count for something C: yeah he did ride on the horse with him M: in all three movies M: in the boats too C: they were "close" friends C: gimli always tried to pretend he detested legolas but you know he really wanted some hot elf action M: well shiet, who doesn't M: actually, didn't he like galadriel? C: yeah but he tried to hide it C: galadriel? C: i guess he did M: when they all got gifts he asked for her hair C: he had like a little crush on her M: WHAT IF C: gimli and galadriel? M: he transferred his crush on galadriel onto legolas C: oooh C: they're both blond elves C: so when he was forced to leave galadriel behind C: he transferred his affections to the second most likely character M: yup C: he has elf fetish M: they're both tall and blond and beautiful M: like jungle fever, middle earth style C: but he didn't wanna admit that he had a crush on legolas because it wouldn't have been appropriate C: seeing as how legolas is male and all C: elf fever M: and an elf M: i mean, M: a male dwarf-- according to him, the females look like men anyways C: oh yeah! C: lends much credence to the theory M: maybe he wanted something fairer C: yeah so it's really not out of the ordinary for a male dwarf to have a crush on a male M: right M: as long as they're pretty M: which legolas definitely is. M: he's gorgeous C: yeah C: i mean C: gimli spent so much time down in the mines M: it was all dark C: he was never exposed to the true beauty of the elves M: exactly! C: when he saw legolas he cracked M: they're so pretty! C: because he was so fair and beautiful M: exactly C: imagine being a dwarf and seeing nothing but short fat man dwarves down in the mines M: hahahahaha C: and then one day you see legolas C: he couldn't resist M: how can you do anything but fall in love M: awww C: i'm surprised he didn't just jump him the first time he saw him M: i mean they go across the sea together for goodness sakes M: neither of them marry, obviously M: i bet they lived together too C: they're lifelong bachelors C: until each other M: and then they became lifelong partners C: do you think that maybe gimli also has an inferiority complex? M: for sure M: always having to try and show up the big bad elf C: he's always bragging but deep down i bet he wants to be legolas M: forreals M: and be pretty C: so not only does he have a romantic crush on him he also admires him and maybe almost even sees him as a deity? C: i think there's a name for that kind of thing M: that's so unhealthy! C: idolatry C: he idolizes legolas M: what did eowyn say when before she killed it? M: "i am no man!" C: yeah! M: she's my hero! C: she's cool! M: i like her M: boo on arwen M: that wasn't even supposed to be her in the first movie M: booo C: so in conclusion: gimli idolizes legolas and also wants to jump his bones M: YES C: gimli's sprung M: it looked really dumb when deagol was being dragged by that fish C: HAHAHA C: i know C: we laughed M: we laughed M: hahaha M: i think we were the only ones C: it looked funny M: yea it did M: and then smeagol was riding frodo C: yeah C: hilarious M: were there any other good quotes? C: hmm C: i think gimli whispered in legolas' ear "i wanna sex you up" M: HAHAHA posted by tha muce -|- 12/17/2003 02:40:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! acronym madness R: did you see fcp? S: oh no! okay looking now S: gandalf was hoary R: HAHAHA R: i found the word in fotr R: hoary! S: fotr? R: fellowship book S: oh S: drr S: lotr fotr R: lotr fotr R: lotr ttt R: lotr rotk S: pronounced "lowter, foe-ter" R: yup R: lowter rotka S: and "lowter tuh tuh tuh" R: HAHAHA R: i think it's easier to just say two towers R: tuh tuh tuh R: gandalf the hoary S: that is easier S: than tuh tuh tuh R: yeah R: unless you go "T-U-U-U-U-U-U-H" S: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA S: lowter tuuhhhhhhhh R: hehehe R: lowter foeter, lowter tuuuhhh, and lowter rotka S: YA ROTKA posted by tha muce -|- 12/17/2003 02:28:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! modification to the theory K: Hey I was iming c-- last night K: i have a modification A: uh huh K: Gollum is a homo too A: HAHA A: OH REALLY A: do tell K: Running around following guys in a loincloth K: The guy can catch fish with his bare hands, one would figure he could knit himself some pants A: oh my posted by tha muce -|- 12/17/2003 02:24:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Monday, December 15, 2003 LOTR-- one man's theory K: Hey want to hear my hypothesis on lord of the rings? K: its even better than the one from star wars K: see, sam is a homo K: that's why he keeps following frodo around K: and gollum is not K: but gollum is more feminine than sam, i.e. lithe and hairless A: ahhh K: thats why sam hates gollum, cuz he;s a threat A: so sam envies him K: and see, the ents... see the metaphor - the "biggest wood" K: And galdalf the grey... fights a "flamer" and then is filled with "white" A: omg! K: but only after "stabbing" him multiple times K: and then theres the king of kings K: who comes out of hte proverbial closet to show off as the real man among men K: an is rewarded with the best "sword" of all K: And frodo carries around the ring A: uh oh K: which is of course the hole, as opposed to the thing that fills the hole K: and his job is to destroy the ring (and what it represents) K: by throwing it into the volcano K: which means that the flamers will destroy and overwhelm the hole and what it represents K: And all this is done with shanks and shit K: So really, LOTR is just a big metaphor for gay prison rape K: Tada K: and plus, notice that the hole K: once someone chooses to "fill" the "hole" he gets all fucked up and loses his mind and shit K: so the only one to stay sane, stay alive and be a real man is to continuing poking other men and shit K: and notice the orcs are bred, not born... tada, you dont need the hole for anything anymore posted by tha muce -|- 12/15/2003 06:58:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Saturday, December 13, 2003 better laundry baskets  i think someone should design laundry baskets that allow you to sort by CARE INSTRUCTIONS and not just "whites", colors", and "delicates". it would make all the difference between your favorite sweater and a horribly shrunken piece of cotton. at least in my family everyone helps in doing everyone elses laundry, and all the colors and all the whites and all the delicates get separated. because there is so much clothing to do during laundry time (which is something like bullet time but much much much slower), none of us bothers to look at care instructions as we toss things into the washer. there is just too much clothing and too little time to waste it sorting. if you've been to my house during laundry time, you would know what i meant. thus, things that should not be dried get put in a high heat dryer and other such apparel no-nos occur that should not happen. maybe i'm just a little slow, as in, DUH, YOU'RE A BUM, WE ALWAYS SORT OUR LAUNDRY THAT WAY ANYWAYS, but i think that sorting them this way, before they ever get thought about being washed, is a good way to avoid shrinkage *ahem*. anyways, i'm sure i've seen laundry baskets that short laundry by colors, or lights and darks, like the one above. but even then, a light or dark piece of clothing is no indication of what temp of water, or how high of heat you can use (or maybe it does and my family just never learned that). i guess the point is, why do we sort this way? were we just programmed to do this since we were little? or is it somehow proven to be the "correct" way? doesn't it make more sense to sort by care instructions?? it's pretty obvious whether a piece of clothing is light or dark, why not sort at first by wash severity? whether it needs hot or cold water? low or high heat in the dryer? i just think it makes more sense. posted by tha muce -|- 12/13/2003 04:03:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! do it yourself so lately i've been on this i'm-making-it-my-own-damn-self thing. it might have started a long time ago. with my brownie and chocolate chip cookie obsession. i have recipes for both that i use all the time. so much so i have it memorized, and generally don't need to actually look at a recipe. i want to be able to do this will all of my favorite foods. it sucks having to go and buy it. food is always better nice and fresh, and from scratch, with no preservatives, tasting exactly the way you want it to. i would like my food to always be this way. exactly how i like it to taste. i know almost exactly everything that was in it. fresh, and as close to "scratch" as possible-- obviously i'm not going to make my own cheese and butter. but that would be a great thing. to make all my own food. have a little garden with all my favorite vegetables. that would be awesome. i would also like to be able to make my own clothes. i'm considering taking sewing lessons. i think it would be awesome to make my own jeans and t shirts. make pants that fit me perfectly. know how to fix my clothes that i own now so they fit perfectly. make jackets and own the exact style of shirt that i want in the exact color, pattern, and fabric that i want. it might take time, but i think the effor would be worth it. i also want to be able to build simple wooden furniture. a table. a little cushioned bench. folding chairs. that would be awesome. perhaps this is a manifestation of a need to be in control of my surroundings and my life or a need to feel independent and useful. or maybe i'm just spoiled and like things my way. in any case, being able to make things is cool. i'm going to make truffles for my family for chrstimas. woo hoo! posted by tha muce -|- 12/13/2003 03:05:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Friday, December 12, 2003 more fun with AIM AR: i have a reputation for kicking very hard AS: oh really? AS: don't kill anyone in hkd AS: we don't kick that much AR: it came about when [we did the] hogu gauntlet AS: oh really AS: do tell AR i kicked a girl and she went down in pain AS: oh my AR: i felt bad AR: but ever since then AS: didn't she do the jump back thing? AS: or did she just stand there AR: she just crumbled AS: ahhh no wonder AS: dummy AR: hahaha AS: did she kihap??? AR: she didn't AS: dummy 2x AR: i just remember being super-hyped up AR: i had a lot of adrenaline that day AS: YEAAAH AR: and my leg was like this unstoppable force AS: BWAAHAAHAHHA AR: i even made some of the guys stumble back AS: aw yeah baby AS: that's the awesomest AR: it was a good feeling AR: but then i got kicked of course AR: stupid w----- AR: he knocked the wind out of me AS: whadda bum AS: did YOU kihap?? AR: yes AR: loudly AS: man that musta sucked AR: but he kicked me like i was a 200 pound guy or something AS: what a bum AS: he shouldn't kicka girl like that AR: yeah well he's a stupid fat hobbit AR: he and a----- are on my hit list AR: you should ask d------- if she wears deodorant AS: a-----(the super bum) and w------? AR: yeah AR: ugh AR: a----- <---- stupidest fat hobbit posted by tha muce -|- 12/12/2003 05:20:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, December 09, 2003 things to do-- before i get too old to enjoy knowing how: 1. learn how to make sew my own clothes (not repair) 2. learn how to cook. like REALLY cook. from scratch 3. learn how to salsa and swing like they do in the movies 4. make really good truffles 5. discipline myself posted by tha muce -|- 12/09/2003 12:57:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Wednesday, December 03, 2003 word of the day: (borrowed from b-dawg) in·fat·u·a·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-fch-shn) n. A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction. See Synonyms at love. An object of extravagant, short-lived passion. infatuation n: 1: foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration 2: temporary love of an adolescent [syn: puppy love, calf love, crush] 3: an object of extravagant short-lived passion posted by tha muce -|- 12/03/2003 05:34:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, December 02, 2003 gotta wake up! those of you who are either long time readers (i have these?) or my friends (i have these?) or have trouble with falling asleep at the wheel will probably appreciate this. okay so here's my idea: i want cars to come with an anti-sleep security system, or ASS for short. features include: - steering wheel embedded pulse monitor - steering wheel embedded shock delivery system - flashing dashboard - blinkrate monitoring windshield - pressure monitors on gas pedal - vibrating seats - temperature monitor in seats - safety lock so here's how it might work: once the driver gets into the car, the ASS is already enabled. the safety lock is in place to assure that the ASS can only be disabled with a long and tedious security code. thus, already sleepy drivers will consider it too much of a hassle to disable. the steering wheel embedded pulse monitor, blinkrate monitoring windshield, pressure monitoring gas pedal, and temperature monitors, well, monitor the driver's bodily functions. sleep will slow heart rate and lower temperature, and (i think most sleepy drivers have experienced this), you foot tends to get really heavy or really light. anyways, once the internal computer recognizes that these levels are below (or above normal as the case may be) or the foot is applying steadily less pressure the ASS kicks in. now, these levels will all be monitored relative to a baseline that is determined when the driver enters the vehicle, also taking into account the vehicle's internal climate and driving conditions. also, it can be either a combination of heartrate, blinkrate, temperature, or pressure in the pedals, or a drastic change in any of them that would cause the computer to begin using the ASS. once the ASS has determined that you are falling asleep, it will cause the vibrating seat to shake slightly, make the dashboard and perhaps the interior lights flash. then, as a last resort, the ASS would administer a light but significant electric shock from the steering wheel. so what do you think? i think i would appreciate something like this. i dont know exactly how it would work, or if it's a possibilty, but there's definitely a market for it. perhaps it could start out as an inexpensive upgrade, and then become standard on all vehicles. i just really really like the name. posted by tha muce -|- 12/02/2003 12:22:00 AM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Tuesday, November 25, 2003 the darkness    they are "...so fucking rock it's positively painful." the darkness is my lastest musical obsession. i heard this uk band on the radio the other day. something about "touching you, touching me". at first i thought it was a cheesy song, but after hearing it again, and hearing the band talk on the radio i was intrigued and hooked. at the time i forgot the name of the band, and i tried googling it to figure out who they were. with only "uk band" and the name of the radio station as keywords i finally came across the darkness' website. and their videos. and their bios. they are awesome. they're cheeky and funny and have a knack for putting the fun back in rock. right now there's so much sad rock and angry rock that its pretty refreshing to hear people have fun with music. they sound like light 80's metal with a dash of queen and a pinch of the sass of david lee roth, complete with mustaches, long hair, catsuits, and tight pants. "growing on me" and "i believe in a thing called love" are my favorites from their first album "permission to land". i've probably annoyed some of my friends with these songs since i've played them so much-- i think they must know the melodies, track numbers, and guitar riffs by heart by now. but i'm sure they're better for it. check them out! go to their website and click on the videos section! HILARIOUS! get down with yout happy rock self. OH YEAH the darkness ROCKS! posted by tha muce -|- 11/25/2003 11:20:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Thursday, November 20, 2003 site update! WOW. close call. i nearly lost half of my nav bar over there... i was trying to add some new sites when i must have accidentally clicked something and erased the bottom half of my template! my goodness i freaked out. it's a good thing i hadn't updated my archives then, or else it might have been lost! forever! what a tragedy! well. everything's all fixed, i've saved my template somewhere other than in blogger, and i managed to update it with three fun new sites. in passing - a berkeley inhabitant who goes by the pseudonym "Eve S. Dropping" chronicles the hilarious, bizarre, and throughtful events seen and heard throughout the crazy colorful city where she lives. milk and cookies - has tons of links to other cool sites and oddities. one of my favorites is the clip of the california governor in pumping iron, where he compares weightlifting to sex with a woman half bakery - witty net surfers discuss poorly thought out or nearly impossible inventions and plans for everything from the fabulously mundane (coffee colored coffee mugs, cookie ice cream cones, and ultimate snowshovels) to the inconceivably fantastical (lazy river offices, custard filled speed bumps, automatic sphincter tighteners). i also added my favorite battle royale web resources, as well as my favorite asian extreme cinema resource website. check them out too! posted by tha muce -|- 11/20/2003 11:17:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! word of the day: soph·is·try ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sf-str) n. pl. soph·is·tries Plausible but fallacious argumentation. A plausible but misleading or fallacious argument. sophistry \Soph"ist*ry\, n. [OE. sophistrie, OF. sophisterie.] 1. The art or process of reasoning; logic. [Obs.] 2. The practice of a sophist; fallacious reasoning; reasoning sound in appearance only. Syn: See Fallacy. sophistry n : a deliberately invalid argument displaying ingenuity in reasoning in the hope of deceiving someone i love dictionary.com posted by tha muce -|- 11/20/2003 01:56:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! Wednesday, November 19, 2003 Hi all. I think i may have to re-evaluate another movie. (ed. from "rethink my rating") namely, the Matrix Revolutions, especially after reading the following explanation from another journal which came from a forum posting. the choice is yours ^_^ (if you choose to continue, you might want to use to the restroom first. and get a snack. and a drink.) and now, on with the show!! ************************************************* Yes ive spammed this.. so now heres an official topic to flame!?!? If it ever gets read. Im sick of all these idiots saying its a crap film when they dont understand it.. and what you read below is probably only 60% of it. Try to keep the flames on Low, I burn easily... ***Spoilers*** Neo is a machine, kinda. He is a human with enhanced genetics, enhanced implants, and a machine programmed mind (probably based on a "The One" template program). That's why, at the end of Revolutions, when his body is being taken away, he is shown as an orange glow. The orange glow is how the machines see each other, and therefore how they see Neo. It is also how Neo sees Smith inside Bane... he is seeing the machine program of Smith inside Bane's mind, and therefore it is an orange glow in the shape of the Smith. But the orange glow isn't the only reason to believe Neo is a machine. Throughout the trilogy other hints are given, such as: "His neural kinetics are way above normal.", "He's a machine.", " Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication...", etc. So if Neo is a machine, why was he created (as all machines must have a purpose)? He was created by the Oracle and the Architect to be The One. As the Architect explains to him: "Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the Matrix... Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of The One... The function of The One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program." Translated, the Architect is explaining that Neo was designed to be a religious figure to the freed humans, thus causing them to put their faith (hope) in Neo and to rally around him ("...sum of a remainder...". This helps to ensure that the freed humans are focused on Neo instead of war, and to keep them all together in one place, Zion (which was built by the machines for this purpose also). Neo is a form of control in the real world. And just to make sure that Neo carries out his part of their plan, the machines programmed him with "... a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the [humans]." This, along with his enhanced abilities and the "guidance" of the Oracle, keeps him on the intended course. The Architect also states that "The function of The One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program." This simply means that The One program in Neo's mind is the most important (prime) program in the Matrix, and that now that his mission (purpose) is complete, he must return to the source for deletion (all machines must have a purpose). The phrase "... temporary dissemination..." means that the The One program will be used again in the next version of the Matrix. This is also why Neo's choice of the left door will destroy the Matrix, as there can be only one The One in the Matrix at any time. By staying in the Matrix Neo is preventing it from being reloaded, as a reload will do nothing without another The One for the next version. (In programming terms he is the highest priority task, and he will not release the Matrix program's main semaphore.) OK, so The One is a human with enhanced genetics, enhanced implants, and a machine programmed mind, and was created by the Oracle and the Architect to carry out a specific purpose (form of control in and out of the Matrix) in each iteration of the Matrix. Now let's see how The One fits in with the entire story of the trilogy. As is explained, the Matrix was created by the Architect, at the end of the war with the humans, as a way to control the humans and use them as a power source (I know, hard to believe...). The first Matrix was "... quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime.", while the second Matrix was redesigned "... to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature." Basically Heaven and then Hell. In both cases, however, no conscious choice was given to the humans as to whether or not they wanted to believe in the reality of the Matrix. This caused the majority of humans to reject the Matrix and die (" ... whole crops were lost.". To solve this problem the Oracle was created, and realized correctly that the humans needed to be given a choice: " Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche... she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level." So by giving humans a choice, even at an unconscious level that only 0.1% are ever aware of, they accepted the Matrix. Unfortunately for the machines, however, a majority of the 0.1% who were aware of the choice usually chose the real world over the Matrix. "While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo, those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster." The machines therefore also needed a way to control the 0.1% of the humans who chose the real world over the Matrix, thus Zion and The One were created. As was explained earlier, Zion was built by the machines to ensure that the freed humans would all gather in one place, and The One was created to be their religious figure, helping to distract them from renewed war with the machines. Both forms of control. But even with Zion and The One, the unpredictability of choice ("systemic anomoly" still forced the machines to occasionally "reload" the Matrix. This always occurs when The One reaches the Source, which he can only do after attaining the level of power necessary for him to defeat the Merovingian, obtain the Keymaker, etc. The One program is then temporarily reinserted into the Source (machine mainframe), in preparation for the next iteration of the Matrix. In the process the machines gain the knowledge and experiences of The One, allowing them to better predict the future behavior of the humans, and thus reduce the systemic anomolies. So that is the situation at the start of the sixth iteration of the choice-Matrix. Luckily for the humans, however, the Oracle does not want them to be enslaved in the Matrix any longer, or for the freed humans to be killed. She therefore decides to take a risk and use Neo to bring about a " revolution". In M1 (The Matrix) she meets with The One, Neo, as she has done in the five previous iterations of the Matrix. Normally she simply helps guide The One to his meeting with the Architect. Except this time the Oracle gives Neo a special cookie, which he eats. The cookie isn't actually a cookie, though, it's an upgrade to Neo's program. Since the Oracle created the The One program, she can predict exactly what Neo will do in the future, specifically how he will destroy Smith (from the inside, with some copying from Neo to Smith occuring). She therefore includes in the program upgrade code that will give Smith the ability to replicate himself, and for Neo and Smith to see the future as she does. In M2 (The Matrix Reloaded) Neo plays out his role as The One, meeting with the Architect. However, due to his love for Trinity he chooses the left door, preventing the Matrix from reloading. This was seen in advance by the Oracle, as she has the ability to predict Neo's behavior (as explained above) as well as human behavior in general (due to the nature of her program). She therefore told Trinity that she would fall in love with Neo (in M1), all the while knowing it would eventually cause Neo to choose the left door. In M3 (The Matrix Revolutions) the Oracle's plan comes to fruition. While the machines begin their assualt on Zion (for the sixth time), Smith continues to replicate himself throughout the Matrix. Neo, on the otherhand, is stuck in the train station. Apparently, fulfilling his mission to meet with the Architect unlocks some section of his program that allows Neo to use his enhanced implants to once again become part of the machine collective (perhaps because of the Oracle's upgrade?). He is therefore able to sense and control other machines wirelessly. The first example of this is when he stops the sentinels at the end of M2. Since he is not quite ready to use his new abilities, however, his program gets stuck at the security checkpoint of the Matrix, the train station. In the train station Neo meets with Rama Kandra, his wife, and their daughter Sati. Rama and his wife are both machines from the real world who can jack into the Matrix, like all other machines, and live human lives. Sati is a program created by these two machines out of love, which Rama explains to Neo is not out of the grasp of the machines. They are on their way back into the Matrix to leave Sati with the Oracle for safe keeping, as any program without a purpose is deleted. After being rescued from the train station by Trinity, Morpheus, and Seraph, Neo is helped out of the Matrix using the standard jack. While aboard the Hammer he has another vision of the future, this time of the three power lines leading from the Matrix power station to 01, the machine city (he is able to see the power lines due to his newfound connection to the machine collective). He therefore takes the Logos, along with Trinity, and leaves for 01. Along the way he confronts the stowaway Bane (who has the Smith program inside of him), and is blinded by him. Although blind, Neo is still able to see other machines (orange glow), including the Smith program inside Bane, which he uses to defeat Bane. He also uses his power to control other machines to detonate the bombs fired at the Logos by the 01 defenses. Meanwhile Smith is replicating out of control in the Matrix, and eventually confronts the Oracle after taking over Seraph and Sati. They have a brief conversation in which he calls her "Mom", referring to the fact that she helped to create him (along with the Architect) as well as Neo (part of his program now). The Oracle then tells Smith to "Do what you came here to do.", so he takes over her as well. The newly formed Smith then stands up and laughs hysterically, foreshadowing the events at the end of the movie. Eventually the Logos crashes in 01, but not before Neo gets a top-down view of the orange glowing city with his newfound machine-vision (notice the fractal patterns). Unfortunately Trinity is killed in the crash, and explains to Neo that both of them have been living on borrowed time. Neo since he was ressurected by Trinity, and Trinity since she was ressurected by Neo. Both are meant to die and Trinity is simply happy for the oportunity this time to tell Neo how she feels about him. (But shame on the brothers for killing off Trinity in such a lame way. Couldn't she have at least died trying to save the ship, not just letting it crash!) Neo then leaves the Logos and enters the machine building into which it crashed (the building is seen in the same orange glowing machine-vision). He is then confronted by the Deus Ex Machina, who knows that Neo is the only one who can stop Smith from destroying the Matrix, but still shows hatred toward Neo (due to the fact that he is mostly human). After a show of force, the Deus Ex Machina agrees to peace with the humans in exchange for Neo's promise to destroy Smith. This causes the sentinels to halt their attack on the Zion temple, the last holdout of the remaining humans (the dock and city have already been destroyed). The machines then jack Neo into the Matrix, since he has not yet masterred the ability to do so wirelessly (this theme of Neo having to learn to use his new abilities runs throughout the trilogy). Neo then confronts Smith, who says he has seen the future, and that he (the one particular Smith) is the one that defeats Neo. The other Smiths (all of the other people in the Matrix have now been taken over by him) therefore only watch as the fight begins. After a brutal battle Neo is near defeat, but continues to fight. When asked why he does so, Neo responds " Because I choose to.", echoing the theme in M2 that "Everything begins with choice." (the only way humans achieve true freedom). But even though he delivers a stunning punch to Smith which sends him through the ground, Neo is eventually defeated. Before Smith takes him over he pauses, however, realizing that he has seen this very moment in his visions, and he already knows what he is going to say. " Everything that has a beginning has an end..." he mutters confusedly. This causes Neo to realize that the Oracle still exists somewhere inside of Smith, and that she is partially able to control his thoughts. Taking his cue from the Oracle, Neo freely gives himself to Smith. Thus Neo is defeated, and Smith's original purpose, to defeat The One (which he is never really expected to achieve, which leads to his bad temperment) is accomplished. Smith therefore no longer has a purpose and must be deleted. But since programs marked for deletion must return to the source, how is Smith to be deleted? Simple, the machines send the command through Neo, into Smith, using a burst of energy. This causes all of the Smith clones, and the original Smith, to be deleted, leaving the original inhabitants of the bodies he has taken over (this is a basic function of the agent programs, that they leave their hosts as they found them, with death being the only exception). This then completes another revolution in the Matrix cycle, as The One has reached the Source and has reinserted the prime program (Neo's program, his knowledge and experiences). The Matrix is then reloaded back to it's initial state, the late 20th century. The Oracle then meets with Sati, Seraph, and the Architect in a park outside the city as the sun rises over it. The Architect tells her that she was playing a "very risky game", and she asks him if he will honor the promise of peace. He says that he will, since he is not human (meaning humans do not keep their promises, an insult). This means that those people who unconsciously become aware of the Matrix and choose to leave will be freed, and those living in Zion will not be killed. The war between man and machine is over, or at least suspended. Looking upon the sunrise the Oracle asks Sati if that was her doing, and the girl responds that she did it for Neo (made the sun rise). Apparently Neo's experience with love, which was uploaded from him to the Source, caused the machines to show pity on Sati and give her a purpose instead of deleting her. She is now in control of the sun. Sati also asks the Oracle if they will ever see Neo again, and the Oracle replies that they might, indicating that the The One program will be used again in the future, as it had been for the previous six iterations of the Matrix. M3 therefore ends where M1 began, except that now the humans who become aware of the Matrix will be freed (a decent compromise) " ****************************************************** yay posted by tha muce -|- 11/19/2003 11:40:00 PM -|- reassuring comments?!?! ---> so far! |
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